No words

I wanted to come here and pour out my heart today.  I wanted to do it yesterday, but it didn't happen.  And today is so so much worse.

But I don't know what to say. Yesterday's heart seems both irrelevant and intensified.

This morning was heart-breaking news of death. It was another crack in dreams close to me. A huge blow to the hope within me. This morning drained me, left me so low. So heavy-hearted. So cold. The snow, the wind, it piled on top of everything, pinning me down so I couldn't escape despite my fight to push through. One thing too many. One challenge beyond what I can carry.

I don't think that things are going to get better. And this makes me question the purpose of everything. Are we all just wasting our time?