2016: Year of Do Over
I have named this year the year of do over. The patterns I'm seeing are ridiculous to me. I think it is time to get them down here so I can hopefully figure out what the hell I'm supposed to be learning and then we can move on with 2017.
In January, we put our house on the market. In May we put our house back on the market after taking it's unsold ass off the market. In June we took it off again. In July, while consulting with a new, seemingly fantastic realtor, I was actually listened to and the realization came that our house is invisible on MLS. The realtor did not press us to relist with her; she knows there is no point until we can say we have two bathrooms.
In March, I went to the dr. to have my prescription refilled. I saw someone who was not my dr. because she was out of town. I mentioned back pain...he said he wouldn't help me and I had to come back when my dr. was back, a month later. It actually took me four months to get back there. And guess what. Still not resolved.
In April, my boy had a nasty toothache while we were away from home for the weekend. Once we got home, I got him in to see the dentist, who found enough problems in his mouth to use up his entire dental benefits for the year. Two baby root canals, fillings galore. A few weeks later, we were back because the first problem tooth was infected. The dentist drained the pus and said come back in a week if it was still infected. We went back. She drained it again and said come back when it's loose and she'll pull it. Really?
In June I decided it was probably time to take off the van's winter tires and have the summer ones put on. Also, it was time for an oil change and time to get that a/c fixed. I took the van in on a Friday. The next Friday I took it in again because the a/c stopped working after less than one day, and my signal light had burned out. The a/c fix would be out of our budget, so we elected to wait until a family member could replace the condenser for us. He did, only to find that the evaporator also needs replacing. A cheaper/simpler/quicker fix was not successful after three hours of attempts. On top of all this, we refill the tire that won't hold air weekly and every day a new crack appears in my windshield.
This summer, my parents so graciously took three of our kids on vacation to give me a chance to work on my crazy a little bit. While they were away, I decided to paint the one bedroom I hadn't repainted before trying to sell our house. Then I thought we should fix up the closet since the rod was broken. Hubby and I went to IKEA and found a closet system that worked for us. Got it all home, and found the brackets we got would not work. Returned those and got the right ones, and hubby put it all together. I went to put something on the shelf, and everything came toppling down on me, some pieces broke. Back to IKEA for hubby for a third time to get new parts. Meanwhile, I spent hours hanging hooks and artwork in the bedroom only to come in the room two days later and find it all on the floor. Apparently the paint is too smooth.
This week we travelled across the prairies to pick up our children. I was hesitant to leave my job in someone else's hands, but I was convinced to extend my time away by two days and let my coworker do the messy Monday stuff. I booked myself, my mom and my aunt some paint nite tickets for the Monday night so that I would be forced to stay until then. Unfortunately, three days into our week-long stay, my mom was called away to a family emergency. And my 'do-over' luck was transferred to her. I went to the airport with my parents, leaving hubby and the kids at the house. Each of my parents had thought the other had grabbed my mom's suitcase. I called hubby from the airport and he rushed the suitcase to us. I decided to leave with hubby, and before we were off airport property, I got a call from my stepdad. My mom was not allowed to fly standby when the only shoes she had were flip flops. Hubby and I rushed to Walmart to buy shoes, and rushed back to the airport again.
Work has been the same for me the past few months. Always having to go back and do something over again; sometimes my fault, sometimes not.
The wasted time in all this is what makes me sad. The wasted money. The things we didn't do because we were counting on things to go a certain way. The energy suck of FAILURE.
There has to be a lesson in all this. The learning is painful. Every time there's a new do-over, it hurts a little more, and they seem to be coming closer together and harder as the year goes on. I hope I can figure out all this soon. I have some plans. Please, God, give me some triumphs.