Tuesday, May 10, 2016

The showing that wasn't

So, since our house has been on the market before, I figured we wouldn't get any showings right away.  You can imagine my surprise when we received a text message around noon asking for a 6:30-7:30 appointment.  Hubby and I quickly made plans that I would leave work early to go home and clean.

Unfortunately, another text came about 10 minutes later saying that the people did not want to see the house after all.  Bummer.

So I stayed at work late instead, then stopped to pick up a few groceries.  

Came home and hubby was already gone to his rehearsal, but he had BBQed burgers for dinner.  Somehow I ate two.  They were really good.

After dinner, I got to work on some cleaning, had a bit of a yell at my kids who seem to want to move so badly, yet refuse to help me with tidying, packing, and keeping their spaces empty.  I ended up saying that if they are going to say no to me by not helping with things I've specifically asked them to do, my answer to them will always be no as well.

Sometimes as I am trying so desperately to get the house in order for showings, I think about why it hasn't sold yet.  Of course there are the obvious answers that have been commented on - only one bathroom and condo fees - but I feel there has to be something more.  The thing that I don't want to hear God saying is that it isn't time for us to move because we can't afford it.  When we began this journey, I was pumped at the idea that I have an income now and as long as we keep the mortgage payments equal to or less than my paycheque, we'll be just fine, because our entire marriage has been about scrimping and saving and living only on hubby's pay, so we are used to that.  Well, the longer this goes on, and the longer I work in the payroll industry, the more I have doubts creeping in.  Our income - combined - is still less than many of my friends' single incomes and many of the incomes of the people I do payroll for.  And they don't have big fancy houses.  I mean, I've always known that we lived on way less than family and friends because we had no other choice, but now that dollar amounts are in my face on a daily basis, well, that makes me worry a little about what we are getting ourselves into.  Because the mortgage payment we will take on if this house ever sells will be more than double our current payment.  These are the thoughts that tear me up inside because I don't know what the answer is - stay or go.

I also feel sad sometimes thinking about leaving this community and the beautiful culture that we've been immersed in through our nine plus years here.  Kids run and play all day into the evening.  Families walk together, hang out at the school playground and play baseball and soccer in the field.  Are other neighbourhoods like this, or are the kids all being shuttled to sports and dance and activities that their parents are well-off enough to afford?  Do kids in higher income neighbourhoods play outside in groups with whoever is able to come out to play? I want my kids to keep having that.

Well, it is now 1.5 hours past my bedtime and I need to find some water that doesn't taste gross (seriously something is up with my tastebuds now), and get myself to bed.  Hopefully I can get some laundry happening before work in the morning.  That stuff just never quits.

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