Up until this point, I have not named my anxious child. I have decided to call him Eli for the purposes of this blog. It is much easier to type a name than to continually try to find a grammatically correct way to indicate who I am talking about.
Here is a conversation we had today when I was sitting in his classroom this morning.
Eli: So, are you going to the gym after this?
Me: Yes. I feel so much better when I exercise; not so tense and frustrated with you guys when you fight. I bet you feel less anxious when you get lots of exercise too, right?
Eli: Yeah, it makes my tummy hurt, but then it goes away.
We have had so many conversations about anxiety. I know how it makes him feel, because he tells me flat-out. No sugar-coating it from him. The most memorable statements he has made more than once through this journey include, "I wish I was never born," "I wish I was dead," and "Why can't I just be normal?"
These statements scare me a little as we inch closer to the teenage years. They scare me a lot.
Please, God, help us find some way to get past this before the teenage years hit.