I wanted to update monthly about how I was doing on Cipralex, but I missed the 3 month anniversary of starting it.
Last week I had a LOT of anxiety. I have to say that my new lifestyle (and Cipralex, likely) has really cut out my panic attacks. I do still have anxiety on a regular basis, but I very very rarely get to the point that I am sure I am going to die any second. I got to that point once last week, but it was short and passed quickly (before Cipralex, it sometimes lasted up to an entire day). And other than that one time, I can't remember the last time it happened since my body has grown accustomed to Cipralex.
I went for my annual (though not really annual) physical last Thursday and I checked out all fine. The doctor gave me a prescription for a Cipralex refill and told me that my BMI is a healthy 21, but she'd like to see me gain five more pounds. I am hovering right now in the 109-110 lbs range, and I am so proud of myself for making it here! That is a gain of 17-18 lbs since I decided to really work on it in November. Yay me!
This week has been totally different from last week, and on two occasions I have forgotten to take my pill at the general time I take it. One night I almost went to bed (at midnight!) without it. I know I am getting better.
My husband is fully into his season of working two jobs and while I am proud of and supportive of him, I am feeling the transition and the shift in schedules and life tension. He is exhausted already, as he is still getting used to the long days, and this year will be a touch harder for him (and therefore me) as he has committed to working out as many mornings per week as possible, and has made the decision to hammer through his accounting (degree?) starting now until it is done. And keep up with his shows. ;)
I often think of February to May as my alone time, because I feel the kids and Jon relying on me heavily for things and there is no one to share this responsibility with. It isn't necessarily a bad thing in my mind because I enjoy my quiet evenings in the silence of my house, and the rest of the time, I am so overcome with busyness, I don't FEEL alone. However, if I take myself out of the situation and look into it at myself, it makes me sad for some reason. I see that my friendships do suffer during this time. My social life. My hobbies. For the rest of the year, I can pass things off to my partner. But other than him, I have no one to share the responsibilities, no one to confide in, no one to hang out with and watch TV. No one else to cook dinner. LOL
Today I had a nice morning visiting with friends, but when they left, I found myself irritated by my children asking me for this, that and the other thing. They are off school for Teachers' Convention today and tomorrow and for Family Day on Monday. I am thankful that I am well enough to take them out of the house tomorrow, Saturday, Sunday and Monday, and hopefully keep them busy enough that they won't be bored (and irritating). Thanks to Cipralex, thanks to the library and internet for helping me research what I needed to know to get better, and thanks to my mom for getting me through those first couple of awful weeks. :)